PARANOID!!!

I've never had a speeding ticket (knock on wood). I've only been pulled over once, and I was 16. I'm a very good driver - in my family, I actually tend to drive everyone around when we're together, even though I'm the youngest. So why am I so paranoid when I drive?

Conor and I were in the car the other day, and a cop passed us with his lights on, and I of course got that awful sinking feeling in my stomach even though I knew we had done nothing wrong. That's when I started talking to Conor about what I do when I drive, and he almost ran us off the road he was laughing so hard - apparently it's just me. I thought I could use a cleanse and put it out into the blogiverse. Wow. Good word, Cheryl...

When I drive, I speed safely. Honestly - there is such a thing, and I do speed safely. 25 - 35 mph, I really don't speed much. When the speed is that low, it's for a reason, so I'm generally safe. Anything 40 and above, I probably go about 5-7 miles over the speed limit. That would be fine if that was the end of my cleanse, but that's not what made Conor laugh hysterically. When I drive, I am constantly figuring out what BS story to tell a cop if I do get pulled over. Constantly. Half the time I don't even hear what is on the radio, because I'm so paranoid of the fact that I'm speeding. Do I slow down? Of course not? Instead, I just concoct the perfect excuse. And it's not like I do it just when I see a cop - it's every time I'm on the freeway. Here are some common thoughts constantly running through my head while driving:

"Oh no officer, it couldn't have been me - it must have been a different Black Honda Civic, because I've been going the speed limit the whole time!"

"Oh no officer, it couldn't have been me - I had my cruise control set, and I was only going 3 miles over the speed limit!"

"Oh no officer, it couldn't have been me - did you see that other car that sped past me and almost sent me off the road?"

"Oh no officer, it couldn't have been me - I was just passing a car safely on the left, and after I got back over, I maintained the speed limit."

"Oh no officer, it couldn't have been me - I just pulled onto the freeway, you must be mistaken."

Why the guilt? I've never had a ticket! When I was pulled over at 16, I got off no problem because I was barely speeding, so why do I feel like I need to lie my way through situations I haven't even been put into! Was I catholic in another life, or has my best friends' catholic guilt rubbed off on me!?

Anyone else do this? No? Just me? Hello? Anyone?